I am a little unhealthily obsessed with Hacker News (HN). It occupies ~80% of my non-Art.sy, non-girlfriend time. It is my leisure reading portal.
I feel an emotional connection with HN. Like a parent or significant other, it knows exactly what I’m passionate about. My favorite interests are startups, technology, math, physics, computer science, and art. These are exactly the fascinating topics that Hacker News consistently delivers to my computer screen every day — for free!
I love posts about startups getting a new round of funding, or realizing a successful acquisition. Nothing gets me more excited than seeing entrepreneurs come a little bit closer to realizing their dreams.
Unfortunately, it sometimes feels like a one way relationship. While articles about my YC friends quickly and gloriously crowd-surf their way to the coveted number 1 spot, for the rest of us HN can seem quite cold and unwelcoming.
After Art.sy finally landed an amazing round of funding, I was very excited for the TechCrunch article on us to get voted up on HackerNews and help us attract a Lead Developer.
But our TechCrunch article barely grazed the front page. Apparently our hard work, sleepless nights, and emotional roller-coaster rides were not worthy of HN’s love. Ouch. I thought we were part of this community too?
hmmm this feeling was so familiar…
[Flashback]
I am a freshman at Princeton going out to the eating clubs for the first time.
The Princeton eating clubs are amazing. Fun parties, fun people, great music, and endless flowing free beer. All available to any student until the late hours of the morning.
Yet beyond the care-free partying veneer, an underlying tension pervades many of the eating clubs and the interactions of their frequent guests.
Every freshman knows that come sophomore year a selective bicker process will decide who gets in and who does not. The members of the club, juniors and seniors, decide which sophomores to accept. So as a freshman, the person you are having a fun and casual conversation with, could end up deciding whether or not you make it through the bicker process.
This process has a very public and painfully obvious result on students’ social lives. Best friends who always went to meals and parties together, are suddenly separated by member-only dinners and formal events.
Luckily the process worked out fine for me, and I was usually too busy staring at code to spend much time worrying about it. But the effects of rejection on people very close to me were unpleasant. And to this day the memory of trying and failing to get some of them into my club recalls very painful emotions.
My brother, who was in the same eating club as me, recently dropped out because he was very disillusioned with the bicker process. While I’m disappointed that he left, I respect his conviction in the face of obvious social drawbacks (although to be fair, as a physics major while also pusuing certificates in math and computer science, it’s not like he goes out much anyway).
Does this interesting parallel imply anything for my beloved Hacker News?
I don’t think so. This post is just an observation of an interesting similarity between two seemingly opposite entities. And, of course, an excuse to start writing again and hopefully attract a Lead Developer 
.
Is there some prescription for these negative emotions we all sometimes feel in the face of rejection and judgment? Like my brother leaving our eating club, should I stop reading HN in protest and find another, more accepting, online community?
Again, I don’t think so. Rejection is just part of how communities and the world works. Better to accept it for what it is, and focus on making it better, rather than abandon it for some fantasy ideal. Ghandi said it best: “be the change you want to see in the world.”